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The culture I grew up and and currently live in is one that values work. My father is the son of a dairy farmer. They worked hard. Because of the example of my parents, I am a hard worker. I always knew that I would want to teach my children to be hard workers as well.
I spent many hours during the first several years of my oldest child’s life reading and reading about chores–developing my own opinion and philosphy as I poured through countless “expert” opinions. We worked on chores in our home and had a great system going.
And then something interesting happened.
Life.
Organizing and implementing chores was and is easy if I am home and my children are home all day every day (for the most part). When you are all home, you have an entire day to fill. Chores are almost necessary just to keep the masses sane. You need to balance the structure with the the free play. But when we started adding school, lessons, sports, etc. to life, it became a little trickier. I would imagine much of my dilema with it all is similar to what many of you readers experience since most of you are working mothers.
We could do chores each morning before school starts. My children typically have about an hour they can spend playing with each other before school starts. An hours is plenty of time to work chores in. But…I have a hard time with the idea of chores before school. My two older children are about to go to a day highly full of structure–I love that they can spend some time just letting their imaginations take over before they head off to school. My third child (3) has this precious hour to play with siblings before she is left in the house with me for the day, so I hate to have her play time spent doing chores.
Another option is to load a bunch of chores onto Saturday. Saturday can be our work day. But do I really want to turn the one day of the week we have off into chore day?
The reality, however, is that I am still a big believer in the benefits of chores. I believe that work has more than an economic value (Work: More than Economic Value). Most of us who have had our children help with work around the house know full well having the child help with chores does not make things easier (at least initially–since I have children who are 7 and 5 I can promise you the day does come that they do actually add quite a bit of help as they get older). Work is a necessary part of life, and I even believe work is good for us (see Work and Responsibility).
I deeply believe all of this, and yet I waffle on when to best work chores into our lives when school is in session.
- Write down on paper the possible times you can do chores. You want to choose times that are consistent each day–times you know you can follow through on.
- Think through your options–visualize each scenario in your mind. Follow it from beginning to end. Does it seem to work?
- Think through the possible reasons that time doesn’t work for you. If you can’t resolve your “nay” reasons, that likely will not be a sucecssful time for you to have chores.
- Choose the time you think will work best and implement it.
- A great idea is to work some chores into certain routines that happen each day. For example, making your bed can be part of your morning routine. You can have a routine where each person clears his or her own place after each meal. Each evening, we clean up all of the toys that have been played with that day as part of our bedtime routine. There are many small things you can make part of the routine of the day.
- Be willing to change your strategy if the one you picked is not working after a time. There is nothing wrong with changing things up if what you are doing is not optimal.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Interesting, I also value hardork. But I am the mean Mommy who’s kid gets to do chores before AND
Okay totally pressed enter before editing and finishing, opps. I meant to say, I also value hardwork but I am the mean Mom who’s kid gets to do chores before AND after school. She’s 7 and she has really never complained. Actually it never occured to me that this is a bad thing? I relate to the article, though, because it is tough to find a way to fit it all in. Personally, the method I use works for us and I don’t know else it would work.
Oh, I don’t think that was Val’s point at all about not doing them before and after school every day but finding a consistent time that works for you. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, like she says making beds daily in the morning is fine. It is definitely tough to fit it all in. If it is working for you, that is fantastic! If it stops working then, and only then, would I re-evaluate or try someone else’s strategy
i have 3 kids and the eldest is 4. i’ve been thinking about getting to do “formal”chores like washing toilets etc.. now they will make their beds in the morning and put away the toys.
but these simple chores doesn’t require use of detergents and cleaning equipment like a brush. is it safe to teach them and get them to clean with commercial detergents or do you use organic/child-friendly detergents? i’m more worried about the detergents than the equipment.
thanks for the help.
I do still prefer to give them simple chores without cleaners or chores that require true sanitation. I very much prefer organic/child-friendly detergents for all-purpose cleaning in my house. I can use baking soda and vinegar for most things. I still have commercial cleaners for hard to clean spots or stains but otherwise there are TONS of recipes for using those two primary ingredients with a few other minor ingredients like olive oil or hydrogen peroxide.
There are also a lot of simple chores that require little to no detergents/cleaners and those are the ones I focus on with my oldest being 5.Things like dusting with a swiffer, sweeping, folding laundry, picking up all belongings, unload dishwasher, wiping doors, brushing dogs, rinsing dishes, etc . Let me know if you want recipes and Pinterest is also becoming a great place for natural cleaners.