I really am still here! Tax season is upon us and my husband has been working from home…which is AWESOME, but the computer is pretty much tied up all evening so he can work on returns. Then it never fails that as soon as I can hop on to write a post I cannot think of any quick topics.
It has also been a season of sickness. This constant cold/warm/freezing/humid/windy weather has stirred up all sorts of nastiness in our house and around us. Fortunately I have hardly caught anything but I did feel like I was dying from a kidney stone a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately, my kids seem to have caught almost everything. Usually they are amazingly healthy and only catch a mild cold at most. This late winter/early spring they have battled off walking pneumonia and a random ear infection that brought a cough worse than the sibling with pneumonia!
I have also just felt drained. I cannot really even put my finger on it. I can always eat healthier, get more exercise, and sleep more…but this time no amount of rest really seems to make me feel refreshed…which just doesn’t do a whole lot for my positive mentality. I have a hard time thinking logically about work, home, life. Setting priorities and willpower seem to have blown out the door. It doesn’t really help that it’s spring break and most moms in our circle of neighbors/friends are either out and about in this priceless sunshine all day or on a fun vacation.
It seems unfair to feel like my husband and I burn both ends of the candle to save/provide and still come up short with either money and/or time for our family. I’d love to have enough in savings just to go on a small vacation but I’d also love to just be able to play in the backyard all morning with my kids. It’s not necessarily even a “grass is greener” kind of moment. It’s a “do they know how lucky they are” kind of feeling. I know how exhausting it is to be with and around little ones all day long without hardly a moment’s peace and feel like you are losing your identity…but it’s so hard for me to not to wonder if most moms that stay at home truly know how fortunate they are to have different struggles. I’d pay good money to have the theme song to Sofia the Princess stuck in my head all day Or have the back of my chair kicked for 3.5 hours straight on our way to stay with family for 2 weeks.
There are certainly different struggles that stay-at-home moms face versus what we face with the work/family balance of an occupation. I don’t often struggle with wondering “who” I am going to be other than mom or feel like I spend all day organizing/cleaning only for little hands to give me more work for tomorrow. I do struggle with craving missed time with my family, I struggle with finding time to clean period some days, I struggle with actually feeling resentful when I meet “another” stay at home mom. I do mean struggle.
I am not saying my struggles are harder, and I am not saying that other struggles aren’t as valid. A “struggle” is:
: to make strenuous or violent efforts in the face of difficulties or oppositionOR: to proceed with difficulty or with great effort