While losing my job has been one of the hardest and, in some ways, worst experience of my life, it has also given me a new and fresh perspective…on life, work, family, home…everything. It is definitely not all rosy, but I do feel renewed in many ways. Maybe it is the starting over. Maybe it is the security of a paycheck after losing 3 months of income. Maybe it is a better location, a better job. I am thankful that by God’s grace it has turned out to be a positive result.
The downside is that I do not think I will ever feel secure in a job again. Not after 5 years, maybe not even after 10 years or more. Being experienced and specialized has become meaningless in some ways to me. I feel like I can’t let my breath out. When coworkers joke about being let go, I want to run out of the room. I hate that I still feel so vulnerable.
Without that vulnerability, I don’t know that I would have gotten to the “place” that I am now. I never doubted God’s provisions but I did doubt His place and time. I boldly know that He brought us to a better job and situation and area. My heart is still broken that we had to move from Georgia, where both my husband and I grew up. I hate that. I hate that my kids won’t be “from there.” Silly, I now. Thank goodness God has a better plan and knew where He was putting us. I feel a peace I have not felt in a long time, years.
It is still a struggle to be thankful for some of the lessons at times, but I thank God that He has renewed me and brought freshness to our life. As a working mom, I think it is so easy to feel stagnant and stuck. Sometimes there is no way out or little relief. I never thought losing my job would be possible. I never thought that it would free us in some ways. It came at a huge loss in some ways, but the best part is that I know we are in God’s plan. I know that He will continue to renew us…me…if we let Him!
If you can relate in any way, I fully believe that God is ready to restore you. It most likely will not come in the way, shape, form, color that you expect or desire, but He is waiting.