You know when you look back and see so much more clearly? You had no idea you were even being challenged? Things seemed hard but still normal. I had no idea that we were being tested…truly tested.
We were on vacation but it was mostly me and the kids. My husband had changed jobs and could only come for a day. We came back after an amazing, stress-free, very refreshing week…and daily life was different. I thought it was just difficulty adjusting. Post-vacation blues, but it was more than that. I truly believe our marriage was being attacked.
I’m not sure when I realized that things were more than just “off.” The next thing I knew, I started seeing Facebook posts about marriage. Daily. I blew it off at first. Then I finally clicked on one. It GRABBED me. I knew I was meant to read that. A few days later my neighbor surprised me. Totally silly but she found my name and my husband’s name on Coke bottles….on the same day. So funny…but honestly what I needed.
We were meant to marry. We were meant to stay together. We are meant to be in relationship together, and it is an active job. It’s not something you get good at and then just maintain. It requires continual effort.
This is the post that really jumped out at me. It’s a short article but it really inspired me to make some changes. Each week I’m going to focus on one of the habits mentioned in the article. Here is a short excerpt:
20 years and we are still each other’s favorite person most days. We miss one another when we’re apart and can’t get enough when we’re together. Usually. But we also let a messy house, a cold dinner, a parenting dispute, that unexpected bill, you know life, come between us. – See more at: http://wearethatfamily.com/2013/09/7-habits-of-a-hot-marriage-in-the-middle-of-monotony/#sthash.w3YenAWc.biNZVJFs.dpuf
I am happy to say that, thankfully, even a little thing like Coke bottle names spoke volumes to me during that time. Then to read this blog cemented the fact that my marriage would fail without active and intentional effort. Thank goodness I allowed myself to admit I needed to make changes and find ways to “save” our marriage. It is still not easy but I can definitely see the fruits of that work. Instead of seeing all of countless things my husband was doing wrong, I see of the things I am doing wrong and can do better. Many of the changes resonate with Kristen’s timely post!