Yesterday, I wrote about how I recently felt like I had completely gone back to square one. I struggled with working all over again. Even 5 years after I first found out I was pregnant, I still have a hard time not being jealous of moms that got to quit their jobs as soon as they were pregnant. The jealously starts to take seed in my heart and then I find myself in a heap of trouble.
By no means do I have many of the answers, but I’ve been there. I’ve struggled…continually at times…and I do know what has always brought me back to center. These thoughts, principles, goals are at the top of my list to help me regroup:
- Reevaluate if God is your primary focus. Often I find that I give Him lip service but honestly I have put my husband and mostly my children before Him. I start slacking on my quiet time…but everything is still “good” for awhile. Then the anxiety and panic hit…and 10/10 times I have taken my priority of serving God first.
- Are you building up your husband? What does this have to do with mommy guilt? Everything. I usually find that right after I realize I have taken my focus off God that I have started putting my children above my husband. His needs are every bit as important than my children’s, but I don’t usually obsess and agonize over what is best for him. Honestly, focusing on helping him takes my selfishness off myself.
- Recognize the “what-ifs.” Once I start down that road, it’s pretty stinking hard to stop, but over time I’ve learned that I need to abolish the very first envious thought.
- Take courage that you can serve God, help your husband, take care of your children, and work outside the home. It does not mean it will be easy or without struggle, but God has a higher purpose than all of the guilt we impose on ourselves. What works best for our family works best for our family.
- Surround yourself with encouragement and positive influences. Seek out others that can build you up. Changing your mindframe is ultimately up to you, but it is much easier and takes a lot less time to recover if you are around those that can speak to your heart truthfully and constructively.
- Must be the mom in me…get rested. Lack of exercise and healthy eating are often culprits too. Seriously, most of the time when I realize my thinking has derailed I’ve also run myself ragged. Being exhausted mentally and physically has profound effects on my ability to think logically and rationally
- Make sure you take some “me” time to refresh yourself…spiritually, mentally, physically. You’ll be able to think much more clearly and focus on God’s purpose for your life.