Are working moms wired differently?

I always thought I would be a busy bee…a hard working fulltime employee…balancing family and job. Yes, I do know how naive that now sounds. I struggled for well over a year with how to balance my desire to be at home. That being said, I still think that I probably do a better job of balancing family/job vs. being at home full time. That has never been my fulltime job, but I have definitely seen signs of stress in our family when I was at home after being laid off. It was certainly a very stressful time, and we dealt with the stress of interviewing, job hunting, moving, commuting, and starting new jobs during that time. I admittedly had a much shorter fuse than if those things were not factors.

Creative Commons License photo credit: markomni

I think if I stayed at home I would also have a very different perspective. I would do things a lot differently as far as routine and responsibilities if my job was to take care of our children and home fulltime. However, I think I would still not be a “typical” stay at home mom. I do not mean that in a derogatory or condescending manner in any way whatsoever. What I mean is that I think I would struggle with the isolation and being with little ones 24 hours a day…with no sick days and little vacation. I don’t think I would have the right mind frame. Maybe that is only because I have not worn those shoes, but cleaning my house is just not always a high priority. Sure, I would love for it to be much cleaner and have more time to clean regularly, but I still don’t think I would sweep daily or mop every other day. Again, I don’t mean anything controversial. I know that there are much more important things to staying at home than cleaning and I know the home is not always spotless (maybe even dirtier) if mom stays at home with toddlers in particular.

I think in a very small way it helps me to think that maybe working moms are wired differently. Maybe we have to be. Maybe God did give me a different heart than to focus on my home. Maybe I would be the best stay at home mom ever…with a dirty house. Whatever the reason, I know that God has called me to serve Him while I work outside of our home. Sure, there is a pretty big financial need for me to work, but knowing that God has me where He wants me keeps me from focusing on unhappiness and blaming our finances. I try to focus on the fact that God has given me a different skill set. Instead of thinking I work because I have to, I am going to focus on all of the ways that He has made me different and the gifts He has given me as a working mom.

What do you think? Do you think you are wired differently or is it by choice? Has God gifted you to be a working mom?

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  1. says

    You’re posts always bring tears to my eyes. You speak to my heart! I feel the same way at times. I’m in between jobs right now and have two weeks off. I’m loving being home with my son and making dinner, but I can’t find it in me to deep clean, organize, decorate, and more. I Want to want to do those things, if you know what I mean. However I find myself on the computer or reading a book or not really knowing what to do all day. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty to do-but I feel wired different as well. Glad I’m not alone.

    • says

      Lacey, thank you so very much! Your comment meant more than I can say. I love being at home most days but I just don’t think I’d be as driven or effective if that were my sole job. I really hope you enjoy your time between jobs!!!

  2. CJ says

    Agreed! defintley feel wired different. While I dont “have” to work, I enjoy my job, and Ive gotten over feeling guilty. But I would like to figure out how to work like a 5 hour day and then have more time to chil, cook, clean, hang out with a cute little man, and be a better wife and mom in general. I felt like i was june cleaver before we had kids, – dinner ready, house cleaned, kiss at the door,…sigh.

    • says

      Yes, a 5 hour day would be perfect! It sounds like you are doing well, though. Getting over guilt and enjoying your job are definitely pluses!! I tried to reply to your email, too, but it got sent back. Thank you for the encouragement!

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